I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
