apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
