Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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