im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
