who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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