There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
