She's JV to your varsity
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
