Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
