Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
