Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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