If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I did not marry a roomba.
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