Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
