I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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