Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
