My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize
