Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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