I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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