Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
