i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
