Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he laminated a picture of his dick.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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