don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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