Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball