Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
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She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.