Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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