she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
