I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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