we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize