Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize