i think i have herpe
just one?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
