i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize