Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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