My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
