So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
try to milk me bitch
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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