I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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