Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
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