So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
