take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
