just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
