He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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