Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
