Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
