Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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