I CAN MOONWALK!
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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