Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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