so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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