I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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