A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
