he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize