Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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