Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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