Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
