Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
