Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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