wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
