The maid of honor just puked.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
