We're like a lot better than the average bears
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
