In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
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Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
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We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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