Just mADE A PArabola og urine
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
