I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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