Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
